A year of living dangerously

As my friend Maynard walked through the doorway of a local Missoula establishment where he is a “regular” among the constabulary, he was greeted by a television crew asking if he believed in the Mayan prediction that the world would end in 2012.

Maynard, a bit of a wag, responded, “No, I don’t believe the world will be gone before the end of the year; I’m not superstitious.” He then added, “But I do think it will end in 2013.” They asked why 2013 and he explained, “Unlucky number.”

While you’re thinking about that, here is another for your new year: Two Irishmen, strangers, were leaning on parking meters. One points toward the sky and says to the other guy, “Hey, isn’t that a new moon?”

“Oh, I wouldn’t be knowing that,” says the second guy. “I’m not from around here.”

No? Okay then try this one: A New Year’s resolution is a pledge that goes in one year and out the other.

Mark Twain, commenting on New Year’s resolutions said, “Now is the acceptable time to make your annual resolutions. Next month you can, as usual, begin paving over hell with them.”

Finally, back to Maynard and his friends, the wise men. One of them began the new year by resolving to stop jogging. “It makes the ice fall out of my glass,” he said.

Another of those characters defines New Year’s Day hangovers as “The wrath of grapes.”

Happy New Year!

Pat Williams served nine terms as a U.S. Representative from Montana. After his retirement, he returned to Montana and taught at The University of Montana.