Not-so-lady-like bugs

Earlier this spring, just as the maple tree in the backyard began to leaf out, it was attacked by aphids. Well, I guess they were aphids. They were small and black and seemed to be sucking the life out the leaves, which were having a hard enough time as it was with all the cold and rain.

Now, I grew up on a farm where spraying bugs with pesticides was something you just did. There wasn't a lot of talk about organic farming. In fact, there wasn't any.

So I suppose we simply could have sprayed the maple tree and spared its life. But the wife had other plans. She got out her mail-order catalog, and a couple of days later two small brown boxes arrived. Inside the boxes were mesh bags full of ladybugs.

That's the ticket, she figured. Let those ladybugs loose on those aphids. She hung the open bags in the tree and the ladybugs crawled out and immediately went to work. Not on the aphids, but on having sex.

The ladybugs weren't very lady-like, and boy bugs acted just like boys will. All they did was fly around, crawl all over everything on the back porch and procreate. You could hear the aphids laughing. The maple tree sobbed.

The wife would have none of it. A few days later, two more boxes arrived. This time the bags were filled with bugs no bigger than the tip of a finely sharpened pencil. Lacewings.

She let them loose. They did the trick. They ate the aphids. The tree sang. And the ladybugs sailed away on their shiny ladybug wings.

We can still hear them laughing.