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About 'First Wife Iris'

by G. George Ostrom
| October 22, 2009 11:00 PM

It still comes up all the time, "Why do you call her 'First Wife Iris'?" It started about 45 years ago in this column … just happened. She didn't know what to make of the reference but knew I meant it in an affectionate and humorous way. To enlighten newer readers about "First Wife Iris," I've dug out a column written exactly 20 years ago:

Acquaintances know her as a patient, thoughtful, caring, and modest person, not seeking high profile or controversy. Since the day they met, her husband was deeply involved in public debate and controversy. That hasn't been easy for Iris.

From a gently nature reinforced by a near fatal horseback accident when little, Iris worries about rough or dangerous activities, yet she has had to watch her husband nearly kill himself skydiving, nursed him through injuries from skiing, mountain climbing, and motorcycles. Daughter Heidi got a pilot's license in high school and went overseas in the Army. Son Shannon had close calls as an Army M.P. and climbing Mt. Blanc, highest peak in the Alps. Clark was hurt several times, including a serious injury during night maneuvers with the Marines, and Wendy thinks it is neat to jump out of airplanes. The kids have all climbed with me. That's been rough for the wife and mother.

For Mother's Day this year (1989), Heidi wrote a letter to Iris. Later she entered it in a national contest sponsored by the American Movie TV channel. Dr. Joyce Brothers and others in New York judged thousands of entries and named Iris "Montana's Classic Mother of the Year."

Iris and Heidi finally agreed to let me run that letter. Want to show others why I am proud of the kind of people my wife and children are:

For My Mother on Mother's Day-

To Iris

I saw her the other day as I've seen her all my life, hurrying to the door to greet me. She always hurries to meet me, to meet anyone she loves coming to her home. Though I have seen her so many times in just the same way, I was struck at how her smile lit up the room, how glowing youthful her skin was, how lovely and gracious a woman she, my mother is.

As a child I saw in my mother the kind of beauty movie stars possessed. She was Rita Hayworth, Elizabeth Taylor, Maureen O'Hara, Julie Andrews and Donna Reed all rolled into one woman — my mom.

It wasn't until I became a mother myself that I saw my mother's greatest beauty. It was in her ability to always be kind to people. It is in the way her patience with her family who have often been impatient with her. It is the way she holds the family together when there are rifts among us. It is in essence the incredible strength of her character that allows her to maintain a constant demeanor of graciousness and normality even in the worst of times.

Because of her, the worst of times were never so bad.

So when I saw my mom rushing to greet me like she's done a thousand times before, I thanked God that she wasn't a movie star but was my mom, my daughter's grandmother, and the woman whom I admire above all others. My mother.

I Love You,

Heidi Ann

Lest some think Iris isn't at all adventuresome, with no urging from this quarter, she chose to soar high in a para-sail along the coast of Mazatlan, Mexico, loves to ocean snorkel, has run a few rivers, and did fly with me, but shut her eyes during landings. She's hiked in Glacier Park until we met that grizzly three summers back. Iris ramrodded group trips to Europe, Central America, and Hawaii, tight and efficiently.

On the down side, Iris does not allow grizzly hides and deer horns in the living, dining, bed rooms or main floor halls. She will sometimes wait to vacuum until the most important game is on TV, and …………….guess that's all I can think of right now.

You can't be "Montana's Classic Mother of the Year" unless you have a lot of class going in. Iris has that.

G. George Ostrom is a Kalispell resident and a national-award winning Hungry Horse News columnist.