The Tennis Ball Cure?

In all these many years of life, I had never ever heard of "fasciitus", but that is what close family members and friends have diagnosed as my current physical problem. They say it is pronounced "fash-ee-eye-tis." Having decided to go with non-professional diagnosis, it seemed natural to go with non-professional treatments, and that has proven confusing.

It started on Monday, September 28th. During a brisk morning walk of a mile and half in Woodland Park with Iris, noticed a slight pain in my right heel but everyone gets that once in awhile. After having coffee and reading the paper in my easy chair, got up to go downstairs and was hit by very severe pain in bottom of heel … enough to make me hop back in chair and start whining to Iris and telling her I couldn't take out the trash.

She spent considerable time with our medical manual while I repeatedly described the agonizing symptoms. First Wife eventually decided it was no the serious "necrotizing fasciitus' but rather a lesser form of that inflammation. She recalled our friend Marian had that a few years back and stayed off her feet and took ibuprofen. Iris went to store and got ibuprofen. I took one and did crossword puzzles. That afternoon Iris remembered someone had told her people should get new athletic shoes every year because padding wears out so she went and bought cushioned insoles for my two year old pair.

Next day daughter Heidi called and reported both she and her hiking friend Julie, recently had fasciitus so bad they were rendered immobile for several days. She said it is caused by over use. I wondered why I would get such a thing when I'm not one tenth as busy on my feet as I once was; however, Heidi is smart about such things and I accepted her information. She told me one of the best things to do is roll your foot around on a tennis ball. In answer to a facetious question, Heidi said, "NO Dad! The color doesn't matter." Iris went and got a yellow tennis ball and I rolled it around with my foot until my leg got tired. Found that activity disconcerting while working crosswords, typing on computer, or watching TV sports.

By Wednesday I was able to hobble down for coffee and Jim Galvin said he once had fasciitus and the best cure was stretching your foot a lot in all directions, straight out, toes up, and sideways. Told me New York Giants all-pro quarterback, Eli Manning, was currently suffering with fasciitus. Went home and began stretching, plus rolling the tennis ball. Started to take another ibuprofen until noticing small print which stated I shouldn't have pre-dinner snifter of brandy while using that stuff so threw out the pills.

Could get around fairly well by Friday and went to coffee again to give a report on how I was doing. Ron told me he had fasciitus one time and the best treatment was to stand with your toes bent down over the edge of the stirs and push your whole body upward on the balls of your feet. Don't know why, but he needlessly suggested I should not do this while rolling a tennis ball or sipping brandy.

Though widely publicized that it "was doubtful" he would be able to play, Eli Manning ran around like a deer and threw amazing passes in the Giant's winning game last weekend. Have written a special delivery letter to find out if he is stretching on the stairs and rolling a tennis ball around with his foot. If Eli fails to answer by next Monday and my heel still hurts, I might go see a regular licensed medical person.

Sure hope my well intended wife, daughter, and good friends don't get their feelings hurt.

G. George Ostrom is a Kalispell resident and a national-award winning Hungry Horse News columnist.