Group helps kids deal with cancer

Angie Olsen and Geri Cochrane are trying to cultivate a tree.

Nurture and care and grow the tree until it can survive on its own. This may be one of the most important trees they could have ever cultivated.

Olsen and Cochrane's tree, of sorts, is the newly formed Flathead Kids Konnected.

The new program is a support group for area kids who have been affected by cancer. Generally the group is for kids who have a parent with cancer, but children with a sibling or any family member that has or had cancer could benefit from the program.

This year the group is organizing a Christmas party for kids on Saturday. The hope is for so much more.

"It's going to continually branch out and affect others," said Cochrane. "We're not just working on one branch. It’s going to affect the whole tree.”

Cancer has a way of connecting people. A way of making folks reach out to one another. A way of bringing not only patients together, but also families enduring cancer together.

The women both know this better than most people.

Olsen, owner of Angie’s Greenhouse here, has been battling breast cancer for over a year now. Cochrane’s husband, Dave, has been on a battle of his own fighting mantle cell lymphoma.

The two women met through a mutual friend. Olsen, along with Rebecca Starkel, organized a benefit this fall for Dave.

Now Olsen and Cochrane, along with many other volunteers, are working to fill a void. It was something that Olsen recognized soon after her diagnosis.

“There’s no support groups (in the area) for kids,” said Olsen. “I still can’t believe there isn’t any.”

Olsen said she attends a women’s cancer support group, but says there are few support groups out there.

She, along with her husband Russell, has five children. The Cochranes have two.

IDEAS TO help have been brewing inside Olsen since last year. In her search to find answers she found Kids Konnected, which is a national non-profit group with branches throughout the United States.

According to its Web site, the group’s mission is to provide friendship, understanding, education and support for kids and teens who have a parent with cancer or have lost a parent with cancer.

This year’s Christmas party is the kick-off event for the local group. The celebration will take place on Saturday from 4 to 8 p.m. at the Armory in Kalispell on Highway 93 North.

There will be games, crafts and food for families enduring cancer. Gifts will also be given away. Raffle tickets will also be sold to help raise funds for future events.

Already about 40 children are expected to attend. Anyone is invited to attend.

This event and future ones are sort of support groups in disguise.

“When you say support group a lot of people think about sitting around in a group talking about your feelings,” said Olsen. The events will be more about getting children together and letting the friendships and talking happen naturally.

Counselors have also volunteered their time to speak with children and families.

Olsen said the idea is to help children find other children who are dealing with a similar situation.

“Their friends don’t understand. You don’t advertise that your parent has cancer. There’s no other way to meet these other kids,” she said.

IT’S BEEN a long journey for both families. There have been doctors visits and chemotherapy treatments, all while still carrying on the normal activities of daily life.

The Olsen’s children are Dawson, 3; Shelby, 6; Alison, 9; Koya, 13; and Candice, 14.

The Cochranes have two: Jenna, 17; and Jason, who is in the Air Force.

Both say telling their children about a cancer diagnosis is one of the most difficult parts. It doesn’t get any easier later on helping children to deal with what’s happening.

Olsen still remembers what she felt like after the diagnosis. There was no instructions for how to explain cancer to her children. No guidelines to make sure the children knew they weren’t alone.

“They (the children) don’t like to tell their friends,” said Olsen. “They’re surprised to find out there’s other kids like them with parents who have cancer. It’s hard for them to talk about the issues they might be having.”

The Cochranes faced the same struggles. Their daughter Jenna was just 13 years old when Dave was first diagnosed. His cancer has since gone into remission and has now returned.

Cochrane said it was the week of their son Jason’s high school graduation when they found out about the cancer.

“We tried to keep it quiet until after graduation and not hinder his time,” she said. “But we were so emotional and so upset the kids knew something was going on.”

So they sat the kids down and told them.

“The first thing Jenna asked was can he die?,” recalled Cochrane. “I still remember that. Those questions are tough to answer.”

MONTHLY EVENTS for kids are the focus of Flathead Kids Konnected, but Olsen is also working to help families soon after diagnosis.

“Right at the beginning, that’s when you feel the most lost,” she said. “There’s nothing to tell you what to do or how to tell your kids.”

Olsen hopes to correct some of the problem by putting together gift baskets that can be given out to cancer patients. Those baskets would include information not just about Flathead Kids Konnected, but also other resources for help. Also information on how to talk to children about cancer. The baskets will also likely include a blanket for a child and age-approriate books.

ANYONE WISHING to attend Saturday’s Christmas celebration is invited. Organizers still need Santa suits for the event.

Olsen and Cochrane both noted that cancer often comes with a financial burden that can be difficult especially around Christmas time. Any donation is welcome, but movie or meal gift cards often mean a lot to the families.

For more information about Flathead Kids Konnected contact Olsen at 253-7888.