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Blame anybody but me

| September 29, 2005 11:00 PM

One radio announcer over in Idaho last week speculated that Hurricane Katrina was carried out by the Japanese Mafia to get even with the USA for using the atom bomb to end World War II.

Sound crazy? Not any more so than some of the wild things dreamed up by the folks writing "letters to the editor," or congressmen and women blaming President Bush for Hurricane Katrina. There could easily be someone who figures out the President teamed up with the "Japanese Mafia."

Certainly it is upsetting to have a problem and not have a person to blame. Somehow it seems to help many people if they can establish a human source of each bit of bad luck or misery. They don't want to take personal responsibility under any circumstance, even where it is appropriate. Isn't it much more fun to blame things beyond our control on Mother Nature?

Too many problems in the world result from individuals or groups blaming things they don't like on innocent individuals or groups, yet nothing substantial about this illogical human phenomenon is studied in the schools or addressed by legislatures.

One way to get at this problem would be to establish a new field of specialization called "blameology." Right now we have lawyers who are supposed to work in that general area, but too many have replaced common sense and logic with emotion, irresponsibility and hanky-panky.

Justice is mocked by the drive to avoid accepting guilt by grabbing at any flimsy excuse available, no matter how far fetched it may be. This deviation from the path of right and honor is clearly demonstrated by defense teams in sensationalized court trials from coast to coast, including several here in Montana.

Blameologists, by definition, would have to operate under strict guidelines based on logic, morality and science. These are restrictions no longer binding on much of our legal system.

The way it is now, we trace most woes to general sources such as "the government," "they," the IRS, the weather bureau, the neighbors and God.

Sometimes I'm even tempted to blame my little black dog, probably because he's the only living thing handy when I want to kick somebody.

That is an unsatisfactory arrangement, because dogs are so loving and trusting very few of us can actually bring ourselves to kick one of 'em. Getting an unlovable dog just for kicking doesn't seem to be realistic either.

I know where some of the local legislators live, but by the time I drive over to their house, I've either lost necessary anger for "telling them off" or they aren't home, and I don't think it's right to kick a legislator's spouse or dog.

God gives us more good things than bad and He is never available to kick. The IRS is not only unavailable, but most of us fear them more than we do God.

That leaves us, you and me continuing on through life blaming most things on "they." "They" are a nebulous group of evil ne'er-do-wells who live all around us and spend every waking hour hatching nefarious schemes, plots and conspiracies.

"They" are thinking about raising gasoline prices or lowering the lake level. "They" are going to build more dams on the Flathead River. "They" are planning right now how to stop people from deer hunting.

I guess thinking on this subject has brought me full circle. If we do create a special field for the study of blameology, the first ones to get a degree will have to announce to the world exactly what was in the comics a year ago — "We have met the enemy, and they are us."