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Was reading that close to half the marriages in America today end in divorce. That kind of a figure seems shocking, even though there is a lot of talk and writing about young couples making the adjustment to getting along better in the age of women's lib. I have been observing marriages for as long as I can remember and have naturally noticed a few of the more obvious facts and trends along the way.

Too many of the marriages before women's lib survived because of the dependent status of women. Those hardy souls "MADE" the marriage work. If they happened to get a husband who granted them some independence through sharing family decisions, some separate power in spending matters, and the right to her own friends and outside interests, then so much the better. Of course, there have always been those marriages where the woman yelled "jump" and the husband yelled, "How high?"

Forty years ago when I was in the banking business, I saw more families than you might think, where the male rationed out all money. Often I could plainly see the resentment in the woman as the couple sat at my desk working out plans for purchasing their home. I could also often sense the man's feelings that to let his wife play a major role in handling the family budget was some sort of reflection on his masculinity. It was a pleasure to see couples where those matters were shared, with neither feeling any loss of face. I also saw, too often, those situations where something happened to the male and the woman had to face a whole new world where she had never paid a power bill, been in on the purchase of a car or signed a note at a bank. Deliberate or not, the husband had endangered his family by setting his wife up with no management experience.

There are also those rare and wonderful marriages like mine, where the husband just brings home what money he can and turns it all over to his wife. I have on occasion seen a power bill, or an upsetting "balance due" note, but mostly this arrangement has allowed me to avoid distressing news and needless fretting. It also allows me to blame someone else if, "She doesn't make the money go around."

This isn't a flawless arrangement but it's close. There have been those times brought on by a forgivable moment of human impulsiveness, when I've had to come home and explained we will have to dig up an extra two hundred dollars a month to make payments on a bargain piece of land I've purchased up in the mountains. This sometimes caused raised voices when she claimed that we were already running about two hundred a month short. But knowing she has the check book frees me from most of the worry and gives her a heightened sense of responsibility. These things are important to women.

Another area for potential tension in a marriage is dishonesty. One time when Iris saved enough money to take us to Hawaii, she also sandbagged enough to buy me one of those wild Polynesian shirts. A lot of husbands would have lied and said they liked the shirt and that would have set off a long run of the wife buying shirts the husband hated. Eventually such hidden resentment can produce social withdrawal or a deep seated desire for revenge. Four displeasing shirts might erupt in violence. It was very tough on me, but I bit the bullet and told Iris, "I don't like the shirt." I am sure it is this deep understanding of important little things that has held our marriage together.

Because of my experience and a desire to help cut down the divorce rate, I am considering writing a book about these things. It might even turn into a family project because Iris says she would like to do a … fairly long "Introduction."

G. George Ostrom is the news director at KOFI radio and a Hungry Horse News columnist.