First year that I will not only celebrate, but also be a mother

This year will be my first year that I will not only celebrate, but also be a mother. And although I'm not expecting much by way of shopping from my six-month-old son, I have been thinking of ways that I would like mothers, and Mother's Day, to be celebrated.

This year I have been thinking of the tenets that my mother and grandmothers imparted to me over the years. Mom's main philosophy, "Always leave a place better than when you started" is a simple statement that both guides and inspires me.

My two grandmothers also guide me.

Despite never going to college, my grandmother, Mei Mei, on my mother's side, saw to it that her five daughters were educated during a time when a woman's mind was taken for granted.

"Educate a man and you educate one person, educate a woman and you educate the entire family," she explained.

My grandmother Freda, who lived her life in Eastern Montana, was a nurse and devout Catholic who talked to the saints on a first name basis. She was forced to work on her family farm at a young age and never was able to graduate from high school and instead became a nurse in an era when high school diplomas were not necessary.

Despite her meager circumstances, she always valued education, and when my father entered high school in Jordan, Montana, she decided that was the time for her to go back to school as well. To the embarrassment of my teenaged father, she attended classes with the teenagers of Jordan and earned her education.

Education always had high value in my family, and now that I am a mother, I have tried to balance putting my education to work with motherhood. It is not always easy and quite frankly, the corporate/business model does not seem to give much leeway when it comes to the realities of working mothers. I struggled to find quality daycare and overall understanding, (one coworker complained when out of desperation I brought my sleeping baby to work for a couple of hours on a deadline day). And I always wonder if my odd hours worked against me in the 9-5 mold. I always get the job done, but it's not always smootly (but when is life so smooth?); in a structure that seems to value uniformity, I often feel that my early morning and late night hours are looked upon as less than equal, despite the fact that those hours are longer and oftentimes more productive in the relative calm of a quiet, late-night office.

While we certainly don't need rugrats running around the office, the business world seems to deny that mothers exist during office hours. But why not take all of me?

Despite certain corporate shortcomings, this town certainly has. This Mother's Day I am thankful for that. A longtime local, Lee Muraoka, is my child's daycare provider, after one town resident suggested I look for a surrogate grandmother rather than daycare. Businessmen and women have been very accepting when circumstance required that my baby come along for interviews.

I must admit I have taken perverse pleasure in introducing my child into arenas that are largely childfree and breaking the business mold. I enjoyed watching Marshall Friedman bounce my baby while discussing his role in the Alpine Theater Project. I am heartened when, particularly in my interviews with seniors, they ask if my baby will come along. I have done several interviews with people who are ill or bed-ridden, and the presence of a baby lightens the room.

Make no mistake, for such interviews, Wyatt's presence is a premeditated perk of the interview and I owe him an apology for using him so shamelessly.

My six-month review is scheduled for Wednesday, and I do not know if Wyatt and I will be able to survive in the workplace. Perhaps I should expect and accept that my role as a mother is not compatible with a career. The long hours are hard on me and my child. But I also know that, given a little flexibilty and support, motherhood has given me new insight and a definite drive.

I know I am not the only working mother out there. And on behalf of those working mothers who are asked to fit into a mold that doesn't encompass either their talents or the many facets of their multiple roles, could we incorporate motherly virtues into hemispheres beyond the home?

On behalf of the working mothers this Mother's Day, could we bring some of the more motherly values such as patience and support into boardrooms and businesses and like raising children, build on talents and not off of some preconceived model?

The goal of success, be it in business or as a mother, is a destination with many paths, and abiding by one model need not be the only mode of transport to that goal.

Christine Hensleigh is the editor of the Whitefish Pilot.