Allow me to introduce myself

Allow me to introduce myself, I am not Lindsey Nelson. Amazing, I know!

(I often surprise myself.)

I do work for the same paper and can often be found walking around town with the same camera. But underneath the scanty little out-of-date press pass, I'm telling you, it's really ME!

You'd be surprised at how many times I've been mistaken for my esteemed co-worker. This is despite the fact that her picture appears in the paper alongside her column. I would assume the fact that we really look nothing alike would be a dead give away.

Apparently this escapes people's attention. Don't misunderstand me, I am never insulted when I am mistaken for Lindsey. In fact, I have only recently begun to see the power I possess when I strap on the Nikon and become this other person, this Lindsey Jane Nelson.

Besides the obvious drawbacks, like being constantly hammered with either rotten vegetables or date requests from the "real men" in Whitefish, this has the makings of a real adventure! Think big! Like Clark Kent with breasts! Are you following me here?

I have the ability to completely ditch my care-ridden, but extremely cute and loveable, wife/mommy, reporter/photographer everyday persona by simply donning a Nikon D1-X!

With my new identity I can do anything!

Anything at all!

And the very best part? Absolutely no unsightly gamma ray induced hulking, or the even more unsightly lycra clad bulging!

Ignore all that crazy talk at the beginning of this column! I am Lindsey and Lindsey am I! Watch out Whitefish!

Yes, I'm talking thigh high red leather boots.

Whitefish resident: "Lindsey! Is that you?"

Me: "Yup."

I'm talking about swinging the D1 of justice in the face of real evil; human rights abuses, corny home grown commercials, and Sponge Bob Square Pants, laughing all the while. Ha ha ha!

I'm feeling a bit giddy here. Imagine saving the day and still looking incredibly hot in those leather boots!

Me: "Sorry kids, Sponge Bob had a little date with destiny today IN THE TOASTER!"

Kids in grateful chorus: "Oh thank you Lindsey!"

(A fateful ding!, of a toaster oven echoes in the distance.)

Ahh, it's a beautiful thought. But maybe I'm getting a little carried away. Who am I trying to fool? The backlash would be terrible. I could lose my job, shame my family, and Lindsey is sure to miss her boots.

Shannon Velez is a reporter/photographer for the Whitefish Pilot.