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Separating the men from the boys…

by Lindsey Nelson
| December 9, 2004 10:00 PM

You know the dating scene is bad when…

Everytime you talk to your parents they ask who the flavor of the month is?

You know it's bad when your doctor even tells you there are no men your age worth dating in this town.

Dating scenes in any town can always be a bit tricky. But for some reason, the dating scene in Whitefish is off the wall.

I have NEVER realized such a problem with men, boys, or dating in my life!

I have a theory: I think it's the men (or shall I say, boys) here in Whitefish. It's a resort town and a lot of the guys are ski bums. That can be part of the problem, but it goes deeper than that, I've come to find.

Some guys are just selfish ski bums, who only want to drink and ski. A few of them are just selfish. A few are too insecure. A few are just plain cowards, frightened to death of commitment. Actually for this one I could safely say the majority. A few of them are all these things wrapped up in one big un-satisfying package… tempting huh?

See the dilemma?

Since this is such a small town, I can't get too specific with my own experiences, but I will tell you what I've learned about boys versus men in this town.

There ARE men in town.

These men have girlfriends or wives.

They are great, caring guys who can and did actually commit. And to those girls with these men, there are two things I must say to you.

One: be happy that you found one here - actually you most likely did not find him here. You found him somewhere else and then moved here. That seems to be the case in the majority of couples I've met here.

Two: stop being so paranoid that the single gals are going to take your man away. They simply just enjoy meeting a true man because there are no good single ones around. If a girl is good friends with your guy, it's most likely nothing more than that. Most of all (although I have met a few in exception to this) they have NO INTENTION OF STEALING YOUR MAN! So make friends with them!

I can easily describe dating in Whitefish as one hyphenated word: non-existent.

First of all, where do you meet them?

The bar.

The bar is NOT the only place to meet a man, but it seems to be the only option at times and not a good one at that. Say you meet a man there, you talk and find out he is single, you start to hang out, but it's never a date.

The boys in town don't ask you to go hiking or out to dinner like proper dating - they just buy you a few drinks and expect to take you home from there. There is no dating going on. No getting to know someone.

There have been times when I've been at the grocery store and see someone who looks promising, but how do you approach someone there? What are you supposed to say? "Oh I see you like bread, I do too!" And you can't necessarily tell if they're single just because they're buying mac and cheese and beer - it's just too dodgy.

I realize that I may sound a bit bitter, but I can safely say that all my single girlfriends feel the exact same way as I do and have the stories and experiences to prove it.

Deep down, I'm sure there are decent men out there. . . SOMEWHERE.

To those others, show some maturity and realize that there really is more to life than beer and snow. There is a whole swarm of amazingly bright, beautiful, single women around here, believe me. Never in my life have I had so many single girlfriends and there's a reason for that.

There are some stellar women in this town, just wish there were enough stellar men to match. Maybe there's some truth to that Mars and Venus thing after all.

Lindsey Nelson is the photographer at the Whitefish Pilot.